Am I more noble than a beast today?
Who can now tell? Not I! Humanity
Left me when Love, for sin, I did betray.
The bees show their queen more fidelity.
Father, praise be to you in the highest:
For you look at me and declare me pure!
You look at me and see your Son who died;
My God, how does your Grace always endure?
Like Mary Magdalene, I have but nard
And tears to bathe your feet and fill the air
With the song of my sobs, but you, Oh Lord,
Rejoice with tears. I felt one land upon my hair.
And when I did look up into your eyes,
An adoring smile was their only reply.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Holy Sonnet 2: Mary Magdalene
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
BEautiful. Really. I loved it.
Wow, that is very good. It is indeed a beautiful story of grace. :-D
One suggestion: sonnets are written in strict iambic pentameter (5 units of da-DUH accenting). You use iambs a fair bit, but stray from that rhythm at a number of crucial points, and may just want to tighten that up and make sure you have 10 syllables to the line.
Other than that, though, excellent!
Colin C.
To my utter shagrin, I did it Colin. I went back and made it a true Sonnet metrically. Now if only I could get rid of the slant rhymes too!
Post a Comment